| "To
whom it may concern" -The Vonnegut Prayer I
met Toc Fetch in the spring of 1996. I was on sabbatical in the small art-colony
town of Woodstock in the state of New York, USA. It is a quiet town that nestles
in the beautiful wooded foothills of the Catskill Mountains. The local people
are surprisingly intelligent, eccentric, and private, it is a place I find conducive
to my writing. I
am in the habit of taking a walk in the early mornings. In the peace and early
quiet of the day, with the air fresh and cool from the night, my thoughts find
their true directions. After my walk I would return to my cabin to write through
the morning hours. Most mornings on my walk, I would cross paths with the man
I came to know as Toc Fetch. What
first drew my attention to him was one side of a conversation I overheard on the
other side of a wall of blooming lilac. It seemed to be a ranting disparagement
between two voices, high and low. When I rounded the corner I found myself face
to face alone with Toc Fetch, who without the customary shyness of strangers,
(as if I had been all along party to his conversation), he asked me if I had ever
"studied to be innocent". To which I replied, that I found his remark
to be "Nearly a contradiction." He leaned into my personal space and
studied my face like a mirror. A look which, I knew, weighed my words and their
conscious inflections against my body's subconscious expressions, a brief but
thorough gestalt from a piercing intuition. "Nearly", he asked, "nearly,
as in; very difficult?" I think the fact that I laughed, and then we laughed,
at his reply began our friendship. Later
I was introduced to his work and it has taken me three years more to convince
him to allow me this introductory note to his second book. I wanted the opportunity
of this introduction to clarify some fundamental ideas which are not necessarily
widely enough known, but which are, at the very core of advanced theories of perception
today. First
off the reader of Toc's work must understand, what is a metaphor, and more importantly,
why. A metaphor is a overlay of one image on another. For example; Johnny is a
dog. The fact that Johnny is an eighteen year old human male surging with hormones
humors us to say he is a dog. These simple words overlays on Johnny all the dog-like
qualities we associate with dogs. From our own cultural bias we are usually implying
the negative qualities, such as; eating garbage, a fascination with loud smells,
and an endless desire to copulate. But why a metaphor? And the answer is, that
with four words, "Johnny is a dog", we have created an image worth hundreds
of words. This
aphorism states an essential function of the "subconscious". The subconscious
speaks to us by way of concise images and feelings, and the connectedness of metaphors,
gathers the most imagery in the least words. So
what is "The Subconscious"? The subconscious is a perceptive function
of our awareness that misses nothing, witnessing every layer of perception and
then feeding needed parts back to us by way of dreams, desires, feelings and inspirations,
thereby quietly directing our life. There
are ways to influence "The Subconscious", but its predilections are
mostly preset from the perceptually rich experiences of childhood. In most people
the subconscious accepts the safe predigested persona of the group, that of Jesus,
Jehovah, Allah, etc., Money, etc. And in some few, the subconscious takes on a
character and voice before the culture has the chance to form it, (or in spite
of it). These people often find their way into the arts, because the hard-wired
difference of their perception makes their observations a little more interesting,
and therefore a little richer. Often these individuals feel compelled by their
subconscious to offer their society their personal language of images and feelings,
giving us fresh views of our own humanity. They
give us these views through personalized metaphor, because metaphors arouse the
subconscious into a state of response. This seems to be the mechanics of it's
nature, it is curious, puzzling and playful. To an extent the more and more concise
the metaphor the greater the subconscious responds. The connecting-imagery of
metaphors is a kind of high-energy food to the subconscious. Artists are addicts.
They are addicted to the escalating response of their own subconscious and the
particular energy of feeling it affords. The feeling is everything. And in the
arts we applaud obsession. Toc's
works are an exploratory journal of his addiction. His works are both a conscious
observation of, and a self-effacing parody on, the mechanics of his (and our),
subconscious. He reveals to us through a labyrinth of images, the dual nature
of his love for, and the state of war in which he lives with his personified subconscious,
personified as Pope Joey and his Grand Circus Psyche. I
once asked Toc to explain in my language, without recourse to poetics, who Pope
Joey was. He told me that Pope Joey was "the first-voice-elect of my gathered
Heart". As I understand it, Pope Joey is an ambassador from the Dreamtime,
or the heart of his subconscious, that very closely borders Toc's daily world.
Pope Joey, it seems, was sent ahead into Toc's life, by Toc's own death, (named
Papawolf), as a gesture of love. When Toc enters the Dream world (which also includes
meditations, trances, and once upon a time psychotropic intended schizophrenias),
Pope Joey is his guide and the initiator of the many other characters and experiences
inside of Toc's "Self," that is a place that Toc calls (with tongue-in-cheek)
"Schizotopia". Pope Joey has the appearance of Toc when he was himself
a (precocious) child. Pope Joey also carries the mercurial elements of the trickster
(often dangerous, like the Hopi's Coyote), along with the biting wit, of Shakespeare's
dower fools. Toc considers Pope Joey's particular persona a kind of punishment
for his rational resistance to the ruthless machinations of his subconscious.
On occasions Toc rides disembodied in Pope Joey's awareness to witness places
in towards the center of Schizotopia, but most of the time Toc is the physical
vehicle for a number of observers personified from the pantheon of his Self. He
calls this endless testing of his subconscious, "Puppet-in-hell's-heaven",
and he, in turn, sets his words and images, ("like a grid full of sky"),
as our test. His works are not for everyone, they are for those that recognize
it, and know it as an echo of their own dream. So
here I am stepping out of my clinical voice and into Toc's shaggy company of metaphors
to stand in-side, here, among unrepentant howls, where Toc lives. Toc
lives charting the inroads to good-madness, drawing out it's secrets with the
loving slyness of an honest man. While standing wide-eyed to the onslaught of
his Very-Self, his voice is DADA at it's best; yes, obsession, and good-bye. And
the relationship between his images and writings is the exact distance that only
a Heart wet with poetry can cross. And for you, I recommend it highly. It is a
work that lives, and life, after all, is why. 'Doc'
Taylor Stubblefield - Wolfli Institute, Lausane, Switzerland 1999
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