(4/25/09)
comic script for V6 No4
Scene: On a deer trail in the Catskill Mountain woods Softdoor
and D-11 are heading for their favorite place. It is the sandy island
in the middle of Tinker Creek. The early summer sky is warm enough
for a swim and blue enough to be forever.
Page
#1
Daffodil
Eleven: (out of the blue) "Now ... what do I want?"
Softdoor:
(the one finger professor gesture) "No! That's not the question."
Softdoor: "'Who am I?'(2) That is
the only Real question, everything else; all your doings, all
your stuff, all your thoughts and beliefs, all come down to the question;
who am I? Who is this 'I' experiencing all this?"
Page
#2
Daffodil
Eleven: (with a hand flourish to her chest) "I'm Daffodil
Eleven!"
Page
#3
Softdoor:
(smiling) "For sure. But when I call you 'D' are you still you?"
Daffodil Eleven: (the duh look) "Duh."
Page
#4
Softdoor:
"So ...You are not your name, your name is just a sound
used to get your attention. But you are something a bit more real
then just a sound, right?"
Daffodil Eleven: (one squinty eyed look) "Bet-ya-yam I yam."
Page
#5
Softdoor:
(Softdoor with a crazy smile holding-up and aiming the Stoogers two
finger jab) "So if I poke out an eye would you still be you?"
Daffodil
Eleven: (D-11 frowning and holding up one hand between her eyes
to block the possible jab) "Yeah
but you don't wanna mess
with me, Doorsey."
Page #6
Softdoor:
"So how much of your body could you lose and still be you?"
Daffodil
Eleven: (pause) "Well, I guess as long as I can still think,
I'm still me."
Softdoor:
"You can't think while you're in deep-sleep, and yet when you
wake up every morning you're still you."
Daffodil
Eleven: "So."
Page
#7
Softdoor:
"So, there is still You under your thoughts, beyond your
thoughts. Your thoughts are just a pile of ideas inside of you that
calls itself 'me', but no ...thing... is You."
Daffodil
Eleven: (one eyebrow raised) "That's weird."
Softdoor:
"But true?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "...ok."
Page
#8
Softdoor:
"Ok, so You are actually a kind of space inside
you, that we've agreed to call "D" or "Daffodil"
but it has no real name. You are a silent space of awareness
that continues on even when you have no thoughts like in deep sleep.
You are the space of you and not the things in it."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Cool."
Page
#9
Softdoor:
"So, You, the real you, is just an awareness that
looks out of your eyes. It perceives your thoughts but is not your
thoughts."
Daffodil
Eleven: "'Perceives?'"
Softdoor:
"Do know the word perceive?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "Maybe."
Softdoor:
"The word perceive means to take in, to observe, to understand,
to become aware of or conscious of something. You-know, like ... to
grok (5). You-grok?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "Yeah I grok. But how do you know this?"
Softdoor:
"I looked it up."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Why?"
Softdoor:
"I needed it."
Daffodil
Eleven: "What for?"
Softdoor:
"To perceive."
Page
#10
Daffodil
Eleven: "To perceive what?"
Softdoor:
"Well, I could just say, to perceive "who I am,"
but it's really to perceive something Treegirl told me.
Daffodil
Eleven: "Go-on."
Softdoor:
"She
said, 'What is perceived can not be the perceiver.' (1)
Then she said that if I really understand those words that
they would see me through to my very self.
You-know...
like to the Other Side."
Daffodil
Eleven: "THE other side?"
Softdoor:
"Yeah."
Daffodil
Eleven: "The place where truth lives?"
Softdoor: "Ah ...Ok."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Where happiness is real?"
Softdoor:
"Sure."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Where all knowing is known?"
Softdoor:
"Yes?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "Heaven? Nirvana? Shangri-La?"
Softdoor:
"Whatever!"
Page
#11
Daffodil
Eleven: "Homely-home of the Easter Bunny."
Softdoor:
"Yeah, all that good stuff."
Softdoor:
"But I think what Treegirl meant was that all that you perceive
can not be you - because you, the real you, is that which is always
perceiving, and never the thing perceived. Anything you can hold in
your awareness can not be you because your awareness is separate from
all things. Your awareness is not a thing. It comes from outside the
world of things, from what we call The Other Side."
Softdoor: "That means that every thing; your name, your
body, its face, your stuff, your memories, ideas and beliefs, your
thoughts, even your mind is just another thing in your perception
- held in your awareness."
Softdoor:
"And You, the real You, are none of these things."
Page
#12
Softdoor:
"So who you think you are is just a cloud of ideas that your
mind holds on to because it thinks that it - that collection of things
- is all that there is to you. And all the while beyond that spinning
cloud of thoughts, your awareness, vast and deep in peace, is going
on and on ... as wide as the universe."
Softdoor:
"And if you let go of that whole cloud of ideas about you, you
would still be the vast space of your awareness - watching."
Daffodil
Eleven: "'Wow. Space! The final frontier!'"
Softdoor:
"You got that right."
Page
#13
Softdoor:
"So ... you want more?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "I don't know. What's it good for, knowing this stuff?
It's like one of those things people say. Like; when something's not
around it doesn't exist. I mean, so-what? Like, where's the proof?
And what's it good for?"
Softdoor:
"You're right about that too. Knowing something is just more
stuff, just another thing to float in the mind. But to experience
... that's what we want."
Softdoor:
"Knowing all about the Northern Water Snake is nowhere near the
same as being bit by one, right?"
Page #14
Daffodil
Eleven: "Oh-yeah, Oh-Sure! Tell me about it! One of your
better ideas."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Though, I got to admit, I dig the scar he left."
Softdoor:
"Yeah. But 'knowing something is only as good as your experience
of it.'(7) Yeah?"
Daffodil
Eleven: "Truth."
Page
#15
Softdoor:
"Now I gotta tell you, if your mind is doing the listening at
this point you won't get what I'm about to say - what you'll get is
...bored because that is how the mind usually deals with truth. You
must be Present beyond the mind to hear this, so take a deed breath
and listen with your whole body."
Softdoor:
"'The world is because you are.' (1)
In other words there must be a perceiver - you - before there
can be anything to perceive. You are the beginning and end of the
universe that is You - you are your own God, within. I mean
if experience is the true guide towards what is True, then this is
true."
Softdoor: "And there is a second meaning under that grok,
and that is that the world is the way it is because you perceive
it that way. The world feels good because you feel good, the world
is a problem if you perceive it as a problem."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Yeah I know this too well, it's almost as if you
have a choice what kind of world to live in."
Page
#16
Softdoor:
"You do choose! And what you choose attracts the same
to you. The world gives true because you are true."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Yes-I!"
Softdoor:
(one hand lifted up high the other on her heart) "And in
the words of the holy Milk-River 'The truth is not an idea beyond
all other ideas, the truth is an experience.' (5) Can
I get a witness!?"
Daffodil
Eleven: (both hands high, palms up like a holy-joe) "Yes-I!"
Page
#17
Softdoor:
"And now that you know all this you'll begin to experience
it more and more. That's the way it works. Your heart will
be on the look-out for it. Treegirl says that the truth is like a
virus, once you catch it, you are it."
Daffodil
Eleven: "You're it!" (swatting Softdoor on the shoulder)
Softdoor:
"Treegirl said that there are as many ways into that experience
of Awareness as there are people to experience it. You could
follow
your breath There or ride a sound There or you could
see it There in a flower or you can literally feel your way
There through the energy inside your body. There are a million
ways just waiting to take you There."
Softdoor:
"And using the word There is just a way of talking
... because There ...is here and now."
Page
#18
Daffodil
Eleven: "Ok, I hear ya, but why bother?"
Softdoor:
"Why bother?! Why bother loving Wallie-dog? You just do!
It as natural as bees to honey. You are drawn to Awareness because
that is where all the good stuff in your life comes from! You goose!"
Softdoor:
"The good stuff doesn't come from outside of you it comes
from that silent awareness that is you, deep inside. It is
the source of all your inspirations, your joys, your love and peace,
all the good stuff. "
Softdoor:
"And what do you think is the one thing that stands
in the way of the full flow of the good stuff within you?"
Softdoor:
"...Huh. Come to think of it, I've just told you the
answer twice."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Yeah-yeah I heard you. So thinking is the
problem?"
Page
#19
Softdoor:
"Yes ...and no."
Softdoor:
"Have you noticed that your mind won't shut-up, that it repeats
thoughts endlessly, exhortingly. It is a Babble-box, and it
can not stand silence. It gets all squirmy and jittery, or bored,
the moment there is a deep quiet. It constantly judges and compares
and is most happy when it has something to complain about. Oh-how-it-loves
to complain! And it loves to be against something. That is its nature.
And being such, it is no wonder that the world is in the state it's
in - war is the natural state of the mind, and the mind runs
the world."
Softdoor:
"And what is the mind at war with?"
Softdoor:
"Peace."
Softdoor:
"Love."
Softdoor:
"Life its VerySelf."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Why?"
Page
#20
Softdoor:
"Because the Mind dissolves in the Presence of peace. It dissolves
in the Presence of love. The mind is made up of only that which is
known and knowable, and peace is not a knowable thing it is purely
an experience, and so the mind fears its loss of control and
ownership of you in the presence of peace. The mind is all
about control and greed and fear."
Daffodil
Eleven: "So what is fear?"
Softdoor:
"Well fear is really a part of desire. Desire happens when the
mind imagines a thing as part of itself, like; my food, my boyfriend,
my beliefs, my thoughts, my things, my country, my religion. Mine
all mine! Fear comes when that desire for a thing, which the mind
imagines as part of itself by calling it 'mine,' is in some way threatened.
The mind fears any loss of its imaginary self. It gets greedy and
hoards things out of fear that it may lose some part of itself. The
mind desires more - always more - to calm its fears. But the mind
can never-ever get enough."
Page
#21
Daffodil
Eleven: "Wow, sounds like a demon."
Softdoor:
"Yeah ...very! Way back before civilization began we were
all like
animals. Happy just to be alive, to be living the Awareness
of life itself. Easily gathering food, easily-living, easily-dying.
Then something happened, some earth event, and we began to depend
on the cleverness of mind to survive. Maybe food became scarce as
our home in the Sahara became a desert. The mind then became a way
of life. Greed and war became a way of life. The mind was born and
grew in fear. The mind slowly took over our lives until we could no
long feel, as the animals do, that vast awareness of peace beyond
the mind. Today the mind dominates everything, and holds up a mask
as itself, in fear of others. That mask that we call the ego."
Softdoor:
"The ego is a small greedy character who is by nature contrary
to everything, especially the experience of peace and love which desolves
the ego by its very presence. The mind does not allow peace and love
does not alow us to experience the essence of who we are. Today most
of the world doesn't have a clue who they really are. Everywhere people
are so sad and ugly for lack of love. They look outside themselves
everywhere fighting and dying, complaining and blaming, all just to
find love, and all the while it is right there under their mind, a
vast and deep rich ocean of love that is who they really are."
Softdoor:
"It's mind blowing."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Ooh-sooo, that is how it all comes back to the question:
'Who am I,' right? If I am an Awareness that is not a thing,
that can not be lost or found, that is always right-here and right-now,
beyond the mind, and is actually the source of everything the mind
is looking for, then the mind doesn't need to fear for any thing.
The mind doesn't even need
to be."
Page
#22
Daffodil
Eleven: "Whoa!"
Daffodil
Eleven: "How do you know this stuff? And how come I don't?"
Softdoor:
"You don't read!"
Softdoor:
"Treegirl gave me some books about it (6)."
Softdoor:
"When was the last time you read a book? I mean there are
some amazing things being discovered, and bigger things then war going
on in the world right now, but you won't find them on the news, you've
got to read to find them."
Page
#23
Daffodil
Eleven: "I read Batman."
Softdoor:
"Yeah the Bat's cool. But even he, the greatest detective since
Sherlock doesn't have a clue. The guy's been at war on a monthly basis
for like 50 years. Yeech! What-a-rut! You'd think he might start wondering
if maybe he is the problem."
Page
#24
Softdoor:
"But the mind is here to stay. And it's a good thing,
when you know it for what it is. I mean, to blame the tool is so
lame, and look how nice the mind is trying to be, it read all this
stuff and told you all about it."
Daffodil
Eleven: "Who's-a-goodgirl?!"
Softdoor:
"It made our bikes. It made chocolate ice cream. It made movies.
It made the USA. It's ...even-almost... given us equal rights."
Daffodil
Eleven: "It made computers and cyberspace."
Daffodil
Eleven: "And made Linky dink Zelda!"
Softdoor:
"Ha!"
Softdoor:
"The mind just needs to be guided by knowing its relationship
to the truth. It just needs to know how to 'let go and surrender to
what is.' (3)"
Daffodil
Eleven: "And, 'what is' ... is what?"
Softdoor:
"'What is', is what is experienced right now. Right
now is that Awareness that is Present beyond your mind"
Daffodil
Eleven: "Ok, mind can hang with us. But it better stay out
of the way when we're having fun."
End
1. I Am That conversations with Nissargadatta
2. Who am I by Ramana Maharshi
3. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
4. The Work lecture by Agnes Martin (holy Milk River)
5. Grok: meaning to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes
a part of the observed like drinking in understanding such that the
water becomes part of the drinker, and the drinker part of the water
(as first used in the Robert Heinlein's novel Stranger in a Strange
Land)
6. The Fall by Steve Taylor
7. Comrade-X